I remember every heartache I have been through. I remember every lie, every deceit, every abuse, EVERYTHING. There was a time where these things crippled me. I remember that the memory of all the hurtful things that ever happened to me filled my mind up and made me really begin to question my view on how I saw men. I remember telling myself that I was never going to trust another man because IN MY MIND I truly believed that all men were out to hurt me. I remember saying I was going to do men how they did me. I tried that and guess what, it didn’t get me any closer to where I wanted to be and actually was self-destructing. Now as I type this, I realize how DUMB I sounded.I say that lightly, but people always say LOVE will make you DO some crazy things, but I have a very different perspective on that. Hurt will make you THINK some crazy things. Hurt will make you really BELIEVE that you are LESS worthy than what you really are. HURT will make you feel like the world is against you. HURT will make you say some absurd things. HURT will take you on an emotional rollercoaster with no safety features. HURT will make you ACT of your character and make you address people and situations that probably didn’t even require your energy. So in my opinion HURT will make you do some CRAZY THINGS…not Love. It’s very important that we first realize that love is not what drives any sort of pain to yourself or anyone else. NOT EVER. NEVER. I can’t debate that and won’t. So how do you overcome hurt?…ACCEPTANCE. Don’t get me wrong, time does play apart in healing but before the healing process begins you must first accept whatever situation you are trying to heal from or hold on to. When I say ACCEPT I don’t mean cover it in an attempt to avoid it, I mean truly take it for what it was, address it if you need to, and then find CLOSURE. ACCEPTANCE is not easy. It requires you to say “I’m not ok” and people don’t like saying that. Well let me speak for myself. I DON’T LIKE SAYING THAT, but I had to. I was NOT OK about the things that occurred in my life but in order to become ok I knew I had to IDENTIFY the areas where I was “NOT OK.” I was not ok but that doesn’t mean I was walking around crying everywhere I went either. I buried that pain and with each relationship, I realized that whoever I dated was digging that HURT right up…I’m like damn where he get the shovel from cause I thought I buried ALL my past heartaches, but they kept being exposed. I was not ok with some of my past situations and once I finally addressed them I realized that it was OK to move forward. I had to ACCEPT my UNACCEPTABLE PAST.
Kings & Queens,
We all go through our own trials and tribulations. If you want to be able to overcome your situations, you have to stop feeling sorry for yourself and realize that you are not alone. Unfortunate circumstances may occur in your life but they do not shape who you are and what you are capable of achieving and overcoming. Accept things for what they are and learn to carry the lesson and not the burden with you.
Younger Self:
Do not accept any treatment other than that which is meant to build you up as a woman. Love will never tear you down or hurt you.
Future Self:
Continue to accept your unacceptable PAST, but remember not to accept the unacceptable PRESENT.
#acceptingQueen
Abrokenqueen 